Creating in Times of Distress

The last few years have been the hardest of my life. I know that many people feel this way, whether for similar or disparate reasons. As a creative with neurodivergence or a long-term illness, it can be the hardest thing to create consistently and successfully. It sometimes takes every ounce of will in me just to get out of bed in the morning. I look before me and see art that I want to create, know I can create, and yet I am still not able to get it done. It’s disheartening. 

Creativity often sits in my mind, kicking around, screaming and making a big fuss. Then, when I am ready to let it out, like a spirit, it ghosts me. I find myself sitting, and staring, and delaying, and distracting, trying and failing, lost. I know exactly where I want to end up with my art but unsure of how to get there, bombarded on top of that with all the big and little challenges and wrongs that surround me. 

Fortunately, through perseverance and struggle, I have found ways to create even through the hardest of times. Every month I get closer to finishing my first novel.

Short stories and poems are still being written by my hands, even if at a slow and agonizing pace. I admit that focusing my creative energy in these ways helps, though it is not a perfect solution. There are still many times when being creative and making art is incredibly hard. But in small steps, it is achievable. In small steps, anything is achievable. To quote The Narcissist Cookbook: 

“All you need to do is look at the ground in front of you 

Put one foot in front of the other 

And one day soon, I think, I hope 

You are gonna look up and you are gonna see 

What we’ve been workin’ on this whole time 

You’re gonna see how far you’ve come 

Rather than how far there is left to go” 

(Good Morning Sunshine, The Narcissist Cookbook) 

So when you are facing insurmountable odds, or many little evils, there are two ways to respond – through escapism or resistance. I have utilized both methods as well as the small steps you can take to keep your spark lit. I hope that what I write will be useful to you. If you need proof, it is only because of these methods that I could get this article done on time.

Though this piece is geared toward writers, I have tried to make my advice as general as possible. Art can and will survive the toughest of times. We are just its stewards, helping it along. 

Escapism 

First, get away from it all. The first step when troubles are itching at my mind and keeping me from my creative best is to physically go somewhere away from the problems or a place where I can pretend said problems do not exist. Often this involves finding a place I can include in my routine, a place I can go often enough that it does not take a ton of effort and does not drain my bank account. It’s great if you can comfortably work there, preferably during all seasons. Writers often find these escapes in coffee shops or libraries. I have also worked in coop spaces, bars, museums, and even zoos. It really depends on what you require to work. If you need an electrical outlet, I suggest getting a rechargeable power bank that you can bring along for charging your device. 

Take steps towards self-improvement through your form of art in whichever way it produces itself.

Use your problems as inspiration. Imagine a piece of art that builds a better future or past or a very different now.

I have been doing this with two pieces I am currently working on. One is a weird western gothic romance where I get to explore both my masculinity and the characters I was denied due to homophobia while growing up. This piece allows me to escape to a time where things are a little different, where I can explore parts of myself that I dulled in order to survive, while hopefully creating some enjoyable steamy western stuff. Conversely, I am working on a serialized, whimsical fantasy piece called Letters from the Night Market. This piece follows a Victorian gentleman with unrequited feelings who is gifted a box that allows him entrance to a place between worlds. Both endeavors have allowed me to get out of my head and my own circumstances, and to play with the world and its troubles in different ways. 

For others, this practice may take a different form. For instance, any kind of fandom achieves this escapism. A fandom, for those unaware, is when you are part of a group of fans for any kind of intellectual property, whether it’s a video game, book series, or game show. Through fandom, you can insert yourself into worlds you love. Back in high school, I utilized Teen Wolf fan fiction for this purpose. Taking something you already love that is separate from your art and incorporating the two can get and keep the creative juices overflowing even when times are tough. For example, maybe you are a photographer but you also love baking. Take pictures that share the positive feelings that you get from the baking process. Simultaneous passions can push us in the directions we need to go and help us keep creating. 

Do something completely different (insert crass word before “different” for your reading pleasure). Sometimes we must make the weirdest use of our time to breathe life back into our craft. For a writer who writes nonfiction that might mean writing an epic space opera with giant pink bats. For a landscape oil painter it could be sketching human figures in charcoal. I have learned that getting out of my comfort zone and playing with foreign materials and boundaries, or lack thereof, opens new wells of creativity. I sometimes discover new sources I didn’t know were there. I either write in a genre completely unlike my favored ones, such as an internet opinion article, or I work with a complex poetic form, writing twelve poems in that unfamiliar form. Doing this forces me to think differently about the art I’m making and to approach it in new ways.  

Resistance 

You can resist, use your voice and art as tools to hack at your troubles and scream your grief into the world like a banshee’s howl. Often, the bad things are only gonna go away if you deal with them. The best example of this for me is grief. I struggle with grieving, letting go, whether that be of loved ones, treasured memories, or special places. I would much rather hold on with a vice-like grip. The only way I have found to deal with saying goodbye is just to do it. With the possibility of marriage equality being overturned, I recently confronted some of my fears by writing a poem on my Substack. I did it to grieve preemptively, to deal with the lingering sense of dread for my future hopes and dreams. The wedding I hope one day to share with my partner may never come to pass. Those rights and freedoms could be taken away from us at any moment. So, I confronted it, writing about what I imagined our special day would be like. It is a short poem, but it speaks to something I think we all experience. Our futures are malleable and can be changed and contorted by whims outside our control. It is important to remember, especially as artists, that the world is full of many kinds of people who can unexpectedly affect our lives.  But what we can all do is to make art in defiance.

Tell those bad things exactly what we are made of. Call out the hypocrisy of the world, the evil, the lazy and apathetic. Show others that these things matter.

Tackling the uncomfortable or agonizing is often the last thing you want to do, but it is the most important, because your story may help someone else survive.

Small Habits 

How do you begin even if you can barely start something?. I recently offered some advice that I learned in therapy while dealing with major depressive disorder.  Sometimes there is not enough time or energy in a day to sit down and commit to a large amount of art. I participate in many types of art, exploring different passions while succumbing to numerous distractions. Yet often I struggle with doing any of them. 

Here is my groundbreaking advice: just do a little. Have an art-snack. As a writer, maybe today I only get a single sentence written. Maybe you only make one stroke on a canvas, or as a photographer you only take one shitty photo.

But do a little. This is especially important if you are struggling to create and have big projects you want to finish.

Doing a little at a time, no matter how slow, will chip away at the whole and add to the product. The more tricks you have in your arsenal, the more you have to work with when obstacles arise. Castles can be built brick by brick, and so can your art. Today, write a sentence, heck, write one word. Who knows, that little piece could entice you to keep going. As we all know, us artists, once we get into our groove, once we are off to the races, we are nigh impossible to stop.